This changes everything…
So let’s say a child is going on a sleepover and they don’t want to go, it’s somewhere they love going and you need them to go as you will be working. Seems reasonable.
🛑 Your child won’t put their shoes on, won’t get dressed or clean their teeth and they are getting angrier by the minute.
🤓 From your POV this is both really frustrating and upsetting.
🛑From their point of view they don’t understand what is going on and why they have to go, which is making them cross, heading for a meltdown.
However…. What is really happening is they are actually worrying about being away from you, but this comes across as anger. The reason for this is because they’ve gone into self preservation mode, “fight or flight”, they are trying to save themselves.
When in this mode kids can’t communicate effectively. So this is where we need to take a birds eye view and step into their perspective, to work out what is really going on…
“This happened to me yesterday and as soon as I realised what was really going on, I changed tact, we talked about what was going to happen on her trip all the amazing things she was going to do, that I loved her, she was ok and that she could call me anytime and also I would come get her if she needed me to. After we both accessed calm and talked, clothes teeth and shoes were all sorted very quickly.”
That’s me Miranda a Director of Happy Confident Kids, my daughter had the best time on the sleepover – thanks Granny.
🧡🌱 Sometimes a change of perspective is all that’s needed.
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